Here’s the thing. I don’t get super heroes. I never have. I wasn’t the person who thought how amazing it was that one man dressed up in the tightest latex attire,who was in such a hurry, didn’t know his insides from the outsides, could come to your rescue. The man had powers that, let’s face it, don’t exist in real life.
To be honest, I wasn’t a big fan of fairy tales either. I think I have a problem with the concept of one man coming to save you off all your problems. I mean, look at ‘Sleeping Beauty’. I think she was just overworked. Hadn’t taken a holiday in a while, a boyfriend who travels all the time and probably frustrated trying out every possible diet in the book to reach her goal weight. She probably would have said… “F it! I’m just going to sleep this off and when I wake up years later, I will have the skin of a baby without having to spend on facials and will have reached my target weight, since I won’t be eating and googling ‘the best lipo surgeons in the city! ” Some jealous b**** would have spread the rumour on how she is under a spell (Seriously women, we need to empower each other! ) and there comes this guy, kisses her while she’s asleep (umm hello? Harassment suit!)… ruining her perfect little plan!
Anyways, back to super heroes! So, I was dragged to the Avengers movie! Yes. I haven’t ever watched a Marvel movie before. No, I didn’t have a sad childhood. Here’s what I noticed being a non Marvel fan.
Note before the review begins : If you are a Marvel fan.. and feel offended by what’s written below then I truly….don’t care. Chances are there are things about you that offend me already.. so we’re even.
1. They are a Cult.
Marvel fans are kind of a secret society.. who aren’t very secret actually, so… society. They are excited about every scene. Very very excited. Also very loyal. Name it and they have all the merchandise which they wore/carried proudly at the movie. T-shirts, caps, cups, pyjamas .. yes.. I saw a guy in pyjamas. When the credits came up, it was the happiest moment of their day or life in some cases. I felt this from the front row with my 3D glasses on tilting my head back.. way back – talk about getting the best seats in the house eh.
One thing is that the fans really help the non fans understand who’s important. When a character came up on the screen, they would cheer and whistle loud so I knew that this guy had to be important. The only problem is, they did it for every guy who kept getting introduced on the screen.. I think there were 15 of them. So I really don’t know who’s the most important of them all. I’m going for the guy with the sledge hammer; he was cute.
2. A Visual Treat
Omg, this movie is a buffet of eye candy for women of all ages! Starting with some doctor who kept waving his hands in a circular motion producing some red circular thing.. to some guy carrying a hammer. Such good looking men!! That was a treat, I have to say. Although, they could change their wardrobe from time to time.. #justsaying
3. The Villain who was Chillin’
So I gathered that all of these beings came together to fight a guy called ‘Thanos’ who was waltzing around while everyone and everything was going haywire around him. I have to admit, he was serene. Had a zen feeling about him. Also, he concentrated only on biceps and legs day at the gym. I don’t why would you bother a guy like him. I mean all he wanted was some jewellery.
4. 2 hours 40 mins?? Really?
I never want another person complaining about Bollywood movies being long anymore. This went on forever and ever. They’d fight and regroup, fight and regroup and fight some more and … you got it… regroup! I mean if that’s what I wanted to see… I would watch ‘The Bachelor’!
And after all that… Okay, I’m not so mean. No Spoilers.
Safe to say, I will be disowned by all my Marvel fan friends. Trust me, I can live with that.. but definitely not going to go to another Marvel movie. #sorrynotsorry