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Althea Kaushal

Furthermore | The F Word

My Kingdom For A Clavicle

Ever since I started doing my humungosaurus impressions, [and I’ve been doing them for the last 4 years], the first thing I notice about people are their clavicles.  The sight of a set of one can drive me to immediately start pushing pudgy digits into the vague direction of my neck [since my neck and chest are one homogeneous unit, you can appreciate the dexterity the task demands] desperately searching for mine. Rationally, I know they exist, [how else can…

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Furthermore | The F Word

One Tight Spanx

The LBD is a travesty. It is designed to clothe a woman who is little. I’m not. I was. That is the past. The LBD in my case, forms a tight fitting sheath for my left thigh. Think crepe…

Furthermore | The F Word

I’ll Cough Through It All

Have you ever noticed, that when someone reports sick…for work or play and they do it over the phone, it does not really matter what they are the victims of.. cholera, malaria, diphtheria, a strange Alaskan bug… it always translates through the phone as…


I Hate You, Mom!

I hear this phrase, as indeed do most of my neighbors, on an almost weekly basis from my 11-year-old. She genuinely believes that the entire reason for my existence is to wreck hers. If I had to stand back and…


Congratulations! You’re A Mum!

Congratulations! You’re a mum!     From the very moment, you’ve popped out your little bundle of joy, that phrase is about to get de rigeur, to the point where it will set your teeth on edge. By the…